Friday, August 17, 2012

The Holiest Man In Football

I heard, to be a sports journalist, all you have to do is yell. And I said, 'shit, I can yell', so NOW I'M A SPORTS JOURNALIST AND I WROTE AN ARTICLE TO GET YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL! I HOPE HANK JR'S RACIST ASS READS THIS. LET'S GO!

We live in an era where the greatest sports icon and most influential religious icon are the same man. No football player has ever been this exciting to watch or talk about. His die-hard fans positively adore him for his personal charm and wild athletic greatness. It also doesn’t hurt that they share the same beliefs. This man represents something greater than football, something greater than man. His inspirational locker-room speeches are considered to be modern gospel; his passion for football and God make him the spiritual leader of millions. And ironically, he's the back-up quarterback.