We will now be
diving into a discussion of men’s fashion, and we must prepare to kill, or be
killed. Our country has been under attack, and as stylish Americans, we will
not fall to the tyranny of tacky clothes made in Bangladesh. How did we get
here? Well, let’s start at the beginning...
World War II
revived the American economy, ended Nazism -- and most importantly -- brought
us dazzling fashion staples like pea coats and bomber jackets! Military
influence has shown up in the fashion of every generation since WWII; details like
patches and epaulets convey strength, masculinity, pride, and a very regal
dignity.
In the 80s and 90s,
America’s mightiest heroes took military fashion to a new foreign land: The
Republic of GLAM!
Pictured above are
two of my personal idols. Michael Jackson is unanimously revered worldwide, and
there’s not much else I could say about the man. But I would love to take this
opportunity to examine Bret “The Hitman” Hart, and why I wish I were him.
How could anyone
dress that flamboyantly, and not come off the tiniest bit gay? I mean, not even
a hint of homo. Seriously. Take a guy
like Shawn Michaels; now, homeboy really had it going on. But he was just a touch
effeminate -- which, hey -- is perfectly fine. But Bret Hart was just an ice
cold killer, who was unquestioningly the straightest man to ever exist. And
there he was, rocking pink tights, heart decals, and those radical shiny
sunglasses.
